What's the Opposite of a Pinterest Fail?

A Pinterest Success!

I never thought I'd see the day where a Pinterest idea actually panned out.

I've had my share of pinterest fails, and my faith was fairly shaken.  Hairstyles, makeup techniques, crafts, recipes...they all resulted in disaster.

But not this time.

So here's the backstory.  My niece, G, and I were goofing off one day, trying on my mom's red lipstick (yes, even at 42, I still play with makeup), when I decided to go for a retro look to accompany the lipstick.

The end result on me, was horrible. I believe the term my sister used to describe it was "transvestite."

But for G, it ended up a total success.  I recalled a look I had seen on Pinterest and convinced her to let me try it out on her.  I can't find the pin anymore to show you what it was supposed to look like, but here's what I made of it:

Gotta love teenagers and their fingernails.

Not bad for a rubber band and two bobby pins.

I'm available for weddings.

Nice photobomb, Charley.

Teaching Art Part 5: The African-American Legacy

This is one of my favorite projects with L, who was 6 at the time.  It was easy for him to follow, and something about pastel crayons makes even mistakes looked great.

Here's an excerpt from the handout we received:

Lois Mailou Jones was an American artist whose paintings were inspired by ancient African images.  Using brilliant colors and bold shapes, she created modern art with ancient signs and symbols.

This art project was perfect for the first grade crowd.  With a little direction on the cutting, the kids were free to create their own African-inspired motifs.

Here's the sample I created:

Ho hum.

L, while looking over my shoulder just now: "My picture looks better than yours."

It does.

L's masterpiece.  Way better.

Rugers, STDs, and Public Transportation

How was my trip to Georgia, you ask?

It was pretty good.  Memorable, even.  I don't know if it was the Ruger flashed in the minivan or the STD comment made by the innocent boy-genius or the fall I took in the MARTA.  Whatever it was, a good time was had by all.

Notice that death-like grip?  There's a reason for that.

The "business" part of this business trip was nothing to write home (or on a blog) about.  Work is work.

In my usual (as of late) lazy blogger style, I'm going to bullet a few of the more interesting parts of the trip.

• LAX is a people-watcher's dream come true.  Did you know that there are still women out there with permed mullets?  Poodle in the front, Lhasa Apso in the back
• For some, 7:30 in the morning is not too early for a mixed drink :(
• Pitch Perfect is maybe the worst movie I've sat through in 15 years.  Not counting kid's movies, of course...I have no choice but to sit through those
• There IS such a thing as too much cheesecake
• Public transportation in Atlanta is scary; don't let anyone convince you otherwise
• You've got to try the public transportation in Atlanta at least once in your life
• The World of Coca Cola attraction in Atlanta felt like a huge rip off
• The CNN tour was fun, mostly because my expectations were low
• No one was interested in eating a peach while in Georgia, nor were they interested in singing Alan Jackson on the bank of the Chattahoochee.  Heathens.
• I learned that Twin Peaks and Tilt a Kilt are giving Hooters a run for their money
• I had a star sighting at ATL airport

No really, I saw the REAL Terrence Howard.  I also saw this sign of him.  Both times, our eyes met.

• Centennial Park looks a bit like a cemetery

Creepy, right?

• Worst Coke drink EVER is Beverly from Italy

Trust me.  This stuff is nasty.

• Buckhead has some nice buildings to photograph

I feel like this post could've been way more exciting, given the stories that have come from this trip.  Unfortunately, work is currently sucking every ounce of creativity out of me, which is odd, considering all I do is crunch numbers for a living.

Perhaps my next post will be more entertaining.

Next Time You're In Atlanta, Try the Sushi

I never would've thought I'd come away from Georgia with a new favorite Sushi place.  But I have.

Before.

After.

Ru San's in Buckhead, you make a mean sashimi plate.

Are The Peaches Really Better in Georgia?

I'm going to Atlanta next week for work.  Instead of blogging, I should be documenting the genius insights I will be imparting unto the gathered masses, but that would be no fun.  Instead, I'm going to share my thoughts on this upcoming excursion.

• BH is going to be on his own with our three terrors from Monday through Thursday night.  This means he is going to be stressed out about having to leave work more than an hour early every day so that he can get home with enough time to pick everyone up from after-school care.  Nothing takes the shine off a vacation, er business trip, more than knowing that my better half is going to be glaring at me when I return.
• The thought of walking through metal detectors in my bare (or socked) feet makes me queasy.  I wouldn't normally consider myself a germaphobe, but I can't help but wonder just how nasty that portion of the ground is. There has to be some research findings published on it somewhere.  If not, someone needs to find themselves a grant and get moving.  I suspect that, next to airport bathrooms, the dirtiest place in the world might just be the ground surrounding the metal detectors at LAX.  Honestly, I obsess over that path.  I'm considering taking a throwaway pair of socks.  Or two.  You know, for the return trip.
• My flight is at 6am, which  means the shuttle will insist they must pick me up at 3am.  That's gonna be rough.
• I'm traveling alone, which is good.  I prefer to travel alone.
• My coworkers and I are taking a tour of CNN when we get in.  I was inordinately excited about this excursion, mostly because BH is a CNN junkie.  When I got home to rub it in, his response wasn't exactly what I was hoping for:  

BH:  "I don't care about Altanta.  I want to go to CNN New York."

Me:  "There's no CNN New York, it's in Atlanta."

BH:  "Anderson Cooper is in New York.  That would be the good one to go to."

Me:  "What?!?  You're right.  You know you could've just let me have my moment."

BH:  "Hey, you were trying to rub it in, that's what you get."

Me:  "If you really loved me, you would've let me make you feel bad."

• Richard Blais from Top Chef has a burger place in Atlanta.  I'm doing everything I can to get the group to take me there.  The nutella and burnt marshmallow shake sounds like something I need to try before I die.

• I've saved the best for last.  Guess what river made world famous by a certain Alan Jackson runs through Georgia?  That's right, the CHATTAHOOCHEE!!!  Or "the hooch," as the locals call it.  I really don't know anymore about the Chattahoochee than what I've learned from listening to Mr. Jackson sing about it, but it's enough to have me weak in the knees at the thought of catching a glimpse of it.  Rumor has it, I may be disappointed, but how bad can it be with lyrics like this?

Way down yonder on the Chattahoochee

It gets hotter than a hoochie coochie

We layed rubber on the Georgia asphalt

We got a little crazy, but we never got caught

Pure poetry.

Pictures will be taken.  And maybe shared.

My Family Is A Zoo

I found this in P's writing spiral.  

My family is a zoo.

My father is the bear,

Big and strong,

But also loving.

My mother is the tarantula,

With her unblinking eyes that see everything.

She waits for something smaller than her to come by,

Then eats it alive.

My younger brother is the small bird in the bird exhibit,

So small and shy and always ready to fly at a moment’s notice.

My youngest brother is the hippo.

He is strong and sturdy,

He will never back down from a fight.

My dog is the sea otter.

People stop by to say, “How cute!” and “Pretty!”

I’m the lion,

Drawing everyone’s attention and admired by all.

I am the main event that everyone comes to see.

My family is a zoo.

Q4 2012 Post Season Wrap-Up

Trying turkey neck for the first time.  Gag. 

Never trust the words, "You've never had them?  They're DELICIOUS."

 
Getting a family member to cry at the Thanksgiving table.  Sorry Mom!

Really?  I made someone cry AGAIN?

 
Going salt-free (a fate worse than death).

Low Sodium chicken broth?  Might as well be drinking water.

 
Rum cakes and polvorones.

World's worst baker, right here.

 
Family Time.

Crazy runs in the family.

Mental note:  Stop taking pictures with my 20 year old cousins.

Momma.

This would've been great if it weren't blurry.

 
Gift Exchanges.

Is anyone ever really happy with gift exchanges?

 
Discovering just how bad of a dancer I am.

 
Holiday eating.

BH and my three blessings.

I have no idea when M learned how to eat with chop sticks.

Now that's my kind of holiday spread.

I'm classically conditioned to salivate at the sight of Reynolds Foil.

Hope your holiday season was happy and filled with warm times.

Allergic Shiners

Scene from an allergist's office:

Doctor (to the nurse, is taking notes):  "Lungs, clear.  Nose, pale boggy.  Eyes, mild shiners."

Me (to the doctor):  "He has shiners?  I never noticed them on him."

Doctor and Assistant (together):  "Oh yeah, he's got them.  See there and there?"

P (aka "the patient"):  "What are shiners?"

Me: "They're kind of like faded bruises around the bottom of your eyes, from allergies that affect your sinuses."

P (lightbulb going on):  "Ohhhh, those are shiners?  Mom, you have big ones, right there and there."

Me:  "Uh, no, those are just dark circles."

Later, while typing up this post... 

L (noticing my photo-editing):  "What are you doing"?

Me:  "Trying to give myself dark circles."

L:  "Why?  You already have them."

It's either laugh or cry in this family.

Teaching Art, Part 4: Monster Drawings

Last weekend, L checked out this book from the library:

He is ALWAYS checking out "How to Draw" books, and truthfully, I'm not a big fans of them.  They take all the fun out of winging it, with all those circles and squares, connected by lines and such.

But this book was different.  Instead of the typical routine, this book gave examples of different facial elements and body parts for the reader to piece together his own creation, in this case, a monster.  So when M saw the book on Saturday night and asked if I would draw with him, I said "Sure."

Have I told you before how happy I am to have all sons?  I don't know what I would've done if I had birthed a daughter.  Probably would've made a wreck out of her.

After a good 15 minutes of looking through the book, deciding on which nose to use and which eyes to make, we got to drawing.  This project had already gone 10 minutes too long, so I finished up fairly quickly.

M would have nothing to do with such marginal participation.

"What's it called?  You have to add more details.  And write some words about pumpkin pie."

So I named it and added more detail.  And wrote something about pumpkin pie.

M's masterpiece, while not a conventional monster, has a dark intensity that I like.

Mine is a little more by the book, which means, minimal creativity.  But the coloring is quite nice.

When L found out that we were having a grande old time drawing monsters with HIS book, he insisted that I go another round, this time with him.

Now any great artiste will tell you that a work of art (no matter how bad) takes a great deal of energy to create.  Fortunately, I am no great artiste, so I was game for Monster Drawing, Round 2.

So began another 15 minutes of perusing and planning for the perfect monster.  I played along, patiently.  And when I put my pen to paper, something odd happened.  It was as if my hand had developed a mind of it's own; inexplicably, it was now guided by a supernatural monster-drawing presence.  As if I was suddenly channeling the ghost of Picasso himself.  

What became an exercise in patience, turned into an exercise in fear, for this is what I scrawled.

Alright, so it's not Picasso quality, nor is it even all that scary.  But is was creepy enough to make me wonder what is going on my subconscious.

L's work of art was just that:  a work of art.

PSA: Removing Water Stains From Wood Furniture

This post provides the answer to one of life's age-old mysteries:

How do you get water stains out of wood furniture?

The solution is unbelievably simple:  you iron them out.

I've read about this before and never bothered to give it any credence.  But last week, after I put another stain in our coffee table, I knew it was time to do something about it.

So I gave it a shot. And guess what?  It worked!

Here's what you need:

1. An iron, set to Cotton
2. A thin, white cloth (100% cotton)

Once the iron is nice and hot, place the cloth on the stain and iron away for about 20 seconds.

(I made sure to lift the iron periodically so that it wouldn't auto-shut off...also because I wasn't sure how long the wood could absorb the heat before burning.)

Note:  do not push the steam button.  This is counter-productive to the whole "removing the water stain" goal.

In my case, some spots needed more work than others.  The fresher stains (1 week old) came clear in two rounds of ironing (about 40 seconds total), but the older ones took 3-4 rounds.

And here you go:  before and after. 

Lots of stains.

Hardly any stains.  See book on top left corner to prove it's the same spot.

Word of warning:  if this particular piece of furniture is heirloom quality or holds a high amount of sentimental value, please, please, please iron at your own risk.  I would hate to be the one who gave you the idea that resulted in irreparable damage to your precious item.

But if you're like me, and only spent a few Benjamins on it (that's me trying to be hip with the lingo), go for it.  

My Internal Filter Has Called It Quits

Today, we were at Panera, enjoying our weekly bagel routine, when I started up a conversation with the boys.*

"Hey guys, I'm reading this book about Jesus, and did you know that many people believe he was born in May, not December?  Apparently, Galilee in December is not when you'd find shepherds out in the pasture, tending their sheep."

So that leads them on a tangent about Jesus and the stories they've heard growing up.

P:  "I remember when you told me about Jesus healing that blind man by spitting in his eye.  I can't believe He actually spit in his eye.  He could've just licked His hand and rubbed the guy's eye."

Me:  "What?!?  I didn't tell you any story about Jesus spitting in anyone's eye.  You're making things up."

P:  "No mom, you told me He spit in his eye."

We went back and forth, P trying to convince me that I told him that, and me trying to convince him that he had selective listening issues.

BH, who apparently had had his fill of religious talk, breaks in.

BH:  "Do you guys have to keep talking about this here?  We're in public, and all people keep hearing you say is 'yes he did spit in his eye' and 'no he didn't spit in his eye.'"

Ok, I guess he had a point.  So we stopped talking about spitting.

A few minutes later, M has a small coughing fit.  He's been gunky lately, getting over a cold.

Me:  "M, do you want to try a nasal rinse today?  I think you might need one."

M (way more excited than he should be):  "Yeah!  I want to do it!"

Me:  "I don't know, maybe you're still too young.  (Turning to L), L how old were you when we started your nasal rinses?"

Again, BH breaks in, with a half-exasperated, half-irritated look on his face.

BH:  "Really?  You're talking talking about nasal rinses now???"

Me (feeling censored):  "Ok, fine, we'll stop talking about that too."

A few more minutes go by, and P holds his lower lip out and calls to me.

P:  "Mom, look you can see my scar, it makes a Y.  And when I smile, you can see a lump.  Do you think it'll ever go away?"

Me:  "I don't think so, it's scar tissue.  It's no big deal, girls will think it's fascinating."

P:  "But why do I have the lump?  Can we go back and get it cut out so that it doesn't show?"

Me:  "Nooo, you'll end up with more scar tissue, and it'll just feel thicker there.  You could also end up with a dent if they cut out too much."

It was just about that time when I realized I had done it again.  Surprisingly, BH never cut in with a glare and a comment.  I'm pretty sure that's because he wanted nothing more to do with us at that point. 

Realizing that I was bordering on the gruesome, I quickly ended the discussion with P and changed the subject to the kids' Christmas lists.

Which I'm pretty sure made everyone in the surrounding booths want to gouge their eyes out.

Making his Christmas list already.

*I say "the boys", because BH runs for the hills whenever anything remotely related to this topic comes up.

PSA: Sites You Should Check Out

What are some of your frequently visited sites?  Blogs don't count.  I'm always up for wasting some time online.  It's my nature.  Believe it or not, I don't spend much of my time reading blogs.  I like to go where the wind takes me.  Usually, it starts with some aol news, and then something catches my eye, and I'm off.  I surface about 45 minutes later, with no idea how I ended up on a vegan website reading about quinoa chocolate chip cookies. 

Oftentimes, my online activities do serve a purpose.  Usually centered around food, health, home, and children, I have some tried and true regulars in my Favorites.  Here are a few that you might find useful one day. 

Aside:  In no way do these sites need help generating traffic.  This is purely a public service to you, my (7) loyal viewers.

• Houzz - this site is perfect for those who need ideas for designing, decorating or remodeling their home.  I used it to create an idea book after the great flood of 2012.

Before:  a cheap early '70s wet bar

After:  a brand new task area

• MakeupAlley - this place is like having 2,000 shopaholic cosmetic experts at your disposal.  Look up any cosmetic you can think of.  Tons of people have reviewed them here.
• MayoClinic - medical sites are a dime a dozen, I know.  But MayoClinic is legit.
• CommonSenseMedia - I've got this site on speed dial for all our movie watching decisions.  They give recommended viewing age, along with breakdowns on various measures (ie. violence, etc.).  Great tool to help you decide if 6 years old is too young for The Hunger Games.
• GamerDad - My boys have this site on speed dial for all our video playing decisions.  They know that if GamerDad is ok with it, I probably will be too.

Bonus site:  My Pinterest Page - ok, that was just a shameless plug.  But check it out anyway.  And if you like what you see, follow me.