Still Strapped, Still In Love

Last month marked the 21 year anniversary of our first kiss.

We've officially crossed the "we've been together half our lives" mark.  From this point on, we can say we've been together longer than we've been apart.  That blows me away.  Mostly, because I can't believe I'm that old.  But also because I feel like we've only been together maybe 10 years, max.

In both cases, how I feel inside doesn't match up with the sheer volume of years that is our anniversary.  I suppose for some people, twenty years may feel more like 40, but for me, it's the other way around.  So we decided to piece together a timeline, from that first kiss 21 years ago, to now. 

Our goal was to remember something...anything... about each year we've been together.  It didn't have to be anything major, the exercise was designed to prove to ourselves that we've got 20+ years of memories together.

Here's what we came up with

1992 - First kiss at the The Cowboy Boogie. Yes, this great romance has it's beginnings in a seedy country western bar.

1993 - Engaged!  And shacking up.

1994 - "I do."

Weak in the knees.

1995 - First career job; so excited to be making $26k.

1996 - Back to school.

1997 - BH's mom passes away.

Forever grateful to this lady.

1998 - MBA.

Notice that twinkle in his eye?  See 1999.

1999 - Our first bundle of joy!

To say, "your lives will change forever" is an understatement.

2000 - Our first home.

2001 - Cancer scare.

When the doctor puts his hand on your knee, you know it's serious.  Either that or he's a perv.

No evidence for malignancy!  All three times!!!

2002 - Our second bundle of joy.

Hello, my little gift.

2003 - Discover L's food allergies:  milk, egg, peanut, and soy.

This was the last time he had a real baked treat for 6 years.

2004 - Children's Hospital of Orange County; add asthma to the list.

2005 - Guess who's not done making babies?  Me!

There's a bun in that oven.

 

2006 - Our third bundle of joy!

Our family is complete.

2007 - New home; new schools, new community.

2008 - First family camping trip.

2009 - BH's surprise birthday party.

2010 - Charley.

Let it be known that if I have a bad picture of you, it will make its way into my blog.  Not even pets are safe.

2011 - Our little friend, Thomas, loses his fight with cancer.

One brave kid.

2012 - Best camping spot EVER.

San Simeon, CA

 

2013 - And here we are, 21 years later.

That's it, 21 years of memories.  For sure, there are way more than that, but those were the first that came to mind for each year.  After going through them, BH had a moment of silence over how mundane our life appears on paper.  No fancy trips, no amazing stories.

"Still strapped," he said.

"And still in love," I replied.

When Kids Have Questions About Private Parts

I was going through my old emails at work today and came across some fairly entertaining ones I've sent to BH over the years.  Here's one about P, who was 7 at the time.

From: Number Whisperer

Sent: Thursday, April 05, 2007 4:13 PM

To: Better Half

Subject: the birds and the bees

P asked me yesterday why we have privates.  I told him they’re for making babies.  He didn’t understand, duh, so I explained that to make a baby, the half from mommy and the half from daddy has to come from inside their bodies...it’s not like we can just buy the ingredients and cook up a baby in the kitchen.  And the only way this stuff can combine to make the baby is by using the private parts.

I can’t believe it, but he didn’t even ask HOW.  And I wasn’t going to push it.

I’m sure more questions will follow.

I have a feeling P didn't ask any follow up questions, because he had no idea what I was talking about. Either that or the imagery shocked him speechless.

Rugers, STDs, and Public Transportation

How was my trip to Georgia, you ask?

It was pretty good.  Memorable, even.  I don't know if it was the Ruger flashed in the minivan or the STD comment made by the innocent boy-genius or the fall I took in the MARTA.  Whatever it was, a good time was had by all.

Notice that death-like grip?  There's a reason for that.

The "business" part of this business trip was nothing to write home (or on a blog) about.  Work is work.

In my usual (as of late) lazy blogger style, I'm going to bullet a few of the more interesting parts of the trip.

• LAX is a people-watcher's dream come true.  Did you know that there are still women out there with permed mullets?  Poodle in the front, Lhasa Apso in the back
• For some, 7:30 in the morning is not too early for a mixed drink :(
• Pitch Perfect is maybe the worst movie I've sat through in 15 years.  Not counting kid's movies, of course...I have no choice but to sit through those
• There IS such a thing as too much cheesecake
• Public transportation in Atlanta is scary; don't let anyone convince you otherwise
• You've got to try the public transportation in Atlanta at least once in your life
• The World of Coca Cola attraction in Atlanta felt like a huge rip off
• The CNN tour was fun, mostly because my expectations were low
• No one was interested in eating a peach while in Georgia, nor were they interested in singing Alan Jackson on the bank of the Chattahoochee.  Heathens.
• I learned that Twin Peaks and Tilt a Kilt are giving Hooters a run for their money
• I had a star sighting at ATL airport

No really, I saw the REAL Terrence Howard.  I also saw this sign of him.  Both times, our eyes met.

• Centennial Park looks a bit like a cemetery

Creepy, right?

• Worst Coke drink EVER is Beverly from Italy

Trust me.  This stuff is nasty.

• Buckhead has some nice buildings to photograph

I feel like this post could've been way more exciting, given the stories that have come from this trip.  Unfortunately, work is currently sucking every ounce of creativity out of me, which is odd, considering all I do is crunch numbers for a living.

Perhaps my next post will be more entertaining.

Every Office Has Its Secrets

My Georgia associates don't mess around.

Are The Peaches Really Better in Georgia?

I'm going to Atlanta next week for work.  Instead of blogging, I should be documenting the genius insights I will be imparting unto the gathered masses, but that would be no fun.  Instead, I'm going to share my thoughts on this upcoming excursion.

• BH is going to be on his own with our three terrors from Monday through Thursday night.  This means he is going to be stressed out about having to leave work more than an hour early every day so that he can get home with enough time to pick everyone up from after-school care.  Nothing takes the shine off a vacation, er business trip, more than knowing that my better half is going to be glaring at me when I return.
• The thought of walking through metal detectors in my bare (or socked) feet makes me queasy.  I wouldn't normally consider myself a germaphobe, but I can't help but wonder just how nasty that portion of the ground is. There has to be some research findings published on it somewhere.  If not, someone needs to find themselves a grant and get moving.  I suspect that, next to airport bathrooms, the dirtiest place in the world might just be the ground surrounding the metal detectors at LAX.  Honestly, I obsess over that path.  I'm considering taking a throwaway pair of socks.  Or two.  You know, for the return trip.
• My flight is at 6am, which  means the shuttle will insist they must pick me up at 3am.  That's gonna be rough.
• I'm traveling alone, which is good.  I prefer to travel alone.
• My coworkers and I are taking a tour of CNN when we get in.  I was inordinately excited about this excursion, mostly because BH is a CNN junkie.  When I got home to rub it in, his response wasn't exactly what I was hoping for:  

BH:  "I don't care about Altanta.  I want to go to CNN New York."

Me:  "There's no CNN New York, it's in Atlanta."

BH:  "Anderson Cooper is in New York.  That would be the good one to go to."

Me:  "What?!?  You're right.  You know you could've just let me have my moment."

BH:  "Hey, you were trying to rub it in, that's what you get."

Me:  "If you really loved me, you would've let me make you feel bad."

• Richard Blais from Top Chef has a burger place in Atlanta.  I'm doing everything I can to get the group to take me there.  The nutella and burnt marshmallow shake sounds like something I need to try before I die.

• I've saved the best for last.  Guess what river made world famous by a certain Alan Jackson runs through Georgia?  That's right, the CHATTAHOOCHEE!!!  Or "the hooch," as the locals call it.  I really don't know anymore about the Chattahoochee than what I've learned from listening to Mr. Jackson sing about it, but it's enough to have me weak in the knees at the thought of catching a glimpse of it.  Rumor has it, I may be disappointed, but how bad can it be with lyrics like this?

Way down yonder on the Chattahoochee

It gets hotter than a hoochie coochie

We layed rubber on the Georgia asphalt

We got a little crazy, but we never got caught

Pure poetry.

Pictures will be taken.  And maybe shared.

Children in the Workplace

I have a coworker who is a genius.  Well, technically he might not be classified as "genius", but he graduated from a top college at age 17.  And what took me 23 years to achieve in my career...well he's managed to do in 2 years.

He's 19 now.

And he's my peer.

At first, I thought, "oh great, just another slam to my already fragile ego...now I have to deal with a kid showing me that what I thought was kind of challenging work is actually something a trained chimp could do."

But he has grown on me.  And he really IS pretty bright.  So I don't feel so bad anymore.  

Sharing a cubicle wall with a 19 year old genius is exactly what I thought it would be like.

Too bad I can't share any stories with you.

Because he'll be my boss one day.

Q4 2012 Post Season Wrap-Up

Trying turkey neck for the first time.  Gag. 

Never trust the words, "You've never had them?  They're DELICIOUS."

 
Getting a family member to cry at the Thanksgiving table.  Sorry Mom!

Really?  I made someone cry AGAIN?

 
Going salt-free (a fate worse than death).

Low Sodium chicken broth?  Might as well be drinking water.

 
Rum cakes and polvorones.

World's worst baker, right here.

 
Family Time.

Crazy runs in the family.

Mental note:  Stop taking pictures with my 20 year old cousins.

Momma.

This would've been great if it weren't blurry.

 
Gift Exchanges.

Is anyone ever really happy with gift exchanges?

 
Discovering just how bad of a dancer I am.

 
Holiday eating.

BH and my three blessings.

I have no idea when M learned how to eat with chop sticks.

Now that's my kind of holiday spread.

I'm classically conditioned to salivate at the sight of Reynolds Foil.

Hope your holiday season was happy and filled with warm times.

An Unconventional Holiday Gift Giving Guide

Gift giving season is upon us, and with that comes the dreaded holiday gift exchange.  Every year, I do my best to bow out of this annual ritual, but they cornered me this year.  So I'm Secret Santa to some poor shmoe, and some poorer shmoe is Secret Santa to me.  

The problem I have with office gifts is that they're usually so generic and impersonal that they hold no appeal to me.  Wine, Liquor, Coffee, gift cards.  That pretty much covers it.  I like to buck the system and gift gifts that I think are pretty cool.  Like one year I gave this glass head to a coworker.

I thought it was fun and could be used a myriad of ways.

It was returned within the week.  And now I'm known as the tacky gift giver.

I thought last year's gift idea was great too, but it didn't take off as I had assumed it would.  I guess my tastes are eclectic.  So for those of you who happen to think glass heads and bulletproof clipboards are fantastic gifts, here are some more from you, straight from my personal wish list that's posted for my Secret Santa at work.

Vinyl Place mats

Star Wars Car Decals

2013 Hamster Sports Calendar

Rainbow Brite Snuggie

Mythbusters Mug Set

Beard Beanie

Doormat

Star Trek Door Chime

Wampa Snow Scraper

Happy Shopping!

What's To Be Thankful For? A Lot.

In honor of this day of thanks,  I'm going to brainstorm on all the things I am thankful for.

My kids.  As much as they drive me crazy, they fulfill me a thousand times more.

My husband, especially this morning.  I walked downstairs to find the house completely picked up.  Every room.

My health and the health of my loved ones. 

My mind.  I may lose it occasionally, but somehow I manage to find it every time.

The smell of crayola crayons.

Salt.

Butter.

Avocados.

The Internet.

Pain Reliever.

Hot Socks.

Sun Screen.

Windy Days.

Washing Machines.

My Job.

QVar.

Vyvanse.

Beta Blockers.

Lipitor.

Toilet Paper.

Charley.

Makeup.

Music.

Umbrellas.

My Minivan.

Home.

Digital Cameras.

Health Insurance.

Friends.

I'm sure I missed some obvious ones.  What's on your list?