An Email About My Dog

To keep your eyes occupied while I fix my computer, here's an email from this week that will give you a glimpse into my glamorous life.

From: XXXXX, XXXXX
Sent: Tuesday, November 29, 2011 12:35 PM
To: Family

Subject: Charley is disgusting

Today the people behind us have been drilling concrete.  I noticed that Charley was barking at them, so I went to the sliding door to let him in.  Turns out he wasn’t barking at the neighbors.  He was barking at something on the ground.
 

A humongous, beady-eyed, yellow-toothed, dead rat.

Charley was clearly feeling playful, as he leapt back and forth, nudging it with his nose, barking and wagging.  Once he realized it was safe, he got a good grip on it and started whipping his head around, like it was his new favorite toy.  From across the yard, all I could see was that huge rat tail doing what could only be described as an Olympic ribbon twirling routine.

That dumb dog would not leave it alone, even with me shaking his bag of treats at him and quietly (so the neighbors wouldn’t clue in) calling, “Charley, want a treat? Want some food?  Charley!!!”  So I had to walk through the minefield of you-know-whats on the grass and smack charley on the head with his bag of treats.  And then trap him and take him inside to be quarantined until I’ve decided he’s groomed himself enough to be back with the regular population.

As much as I didn’t want to, I disposed of the rat all by myself.  And picked up the you-know-whats.

P.S. DH, there’s a big rat in the trashcan, and the shovel is now a health hazard.