Friday, December 28, 2012

Q4 2012 Post Season Wrap-Up

Trying turkey neck for the first time.  Gag
Never trust the words, "You've never had them?  They're DELICIOUS."
Getting a family member to cry at the Thanksgiving table.  Sorry Mom!
Really?  I made someone cry AGAIN?
Going salt-free (a fate worse than death).
Low Sodium chicken broth?  Might as well be drinking water.
Rum cakes and polvorones.
World's worst baker, right here.
Family Time.
Crazy runs in the family.

Mental note:  Stop taking pictures with my 20 year old cousins.


This would've been great if it weren't blurry.
Gift Exchanges.
Is anyone ever really happy with gift exchanges?
Discovering just how bad of a dancer I am.
Holiday eating.
BH and my three blessings.

I have no idea when M learned how to eat with chop sticks.
Now that's my kind of holiday spread.

I'm classically conditioned to salivate at the sight of Reynolds Foil.

Hope your holiday season was happy and filled with warm times.

Monday, December 10, 2012

An Unconventional Holiday Gift Giving Guide

Gift giving season is upon us, and with that comes the dreaded holiday gift exchange.  Every year, I do my best to bow out of this annual ritual, but they cornered me this year.  So I'm Secret Santa to some poor shmoe, and some poorer shmoe is Secret Santa to me.  

The problem I have with office gifts is that they're usually so generic and impersonal that they hold no appeal to me.  Wine, Liquor, Coffee, gift cards.  That pretty much covers it.  I like to buck the system and gift gifts that I think are pretty cool.  Like one year I gave this glass head to a coworker.

I thought it was fun and could be used a myriad of ways.

It was returned within the week.  And now I'm known as the tacky gift giver.

I thought last year's gift idea was great too, but it didn't take off as I had assumed it would.  I guess my tastes are eclectic.  So for those of you who happen to think glass heads and bulletproof clipboards are fantastic gifts, here are some more from you, straight from my personal wish list that's posted for my Secret Santa at work.

Vinyl Place mats
Star Wars Car Decals
2013 Hamster Sports Calendar
Rainbow Brite Snuggie
Mythbusters Mug Set
Beard Beanie
Star Trek Door Chime
Wampa Snow Scraper

Happy Shopping!

Friday, December 7, 2012

Allergic Shiners

Scene from an allergist's office:

Doctor (to the nurse, is taking notes):  "Lungs, clear.  Nose, pale boggy.  Eyes, mild shiners."

Me (to the doctor):  "He has shiners?  I never noticed them on him."

Doctor and Assistant (together):  "Oh yeah, he's got them.  See there and there?"

P (aka "the patient"):  "What are shiners?"

Me: "They're kind of like faded bruises around the bottom of your eyes, from allergies that affect your sinuses."

P (lightbulb going on):  "Ohhhh, those are shiners?  Mom, you have big ones, right there and there."

Me:  "Uh, no, those are just dark circles."

Later, while typing up this post... 

L (noticing my photo-editing):  "What are you doing"?

Me:  "Trying to give myself dark circles."

L:  "Why?  You already have them."

It's either laugh or cry in this family.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Teaching Art, Part 4: Monster Drawings

Last weekend, L checked out this book from the library:

He is ALWAYS checking out "How to Draw" books, and truthfully, I'm not a big fans of them.  They take all the fun out of winging it, with all those circles and squares, connected by lines and such.

But this book was different.  Instead of the typical routine, this book gave examples of different facial elements and body parts for the reader to piece together his own creation, in this case, a monster.  So when M saw the book on Saturday night and asked if I would draw with him, I said "Sure."

Have I told you before how happy I am to have all sons?  I don't know what I would've done if I had birthed a daughter.  Probably would've made a wreck out of her.

After a good 15 minutes of looking through the book, deciding on which nose to use and which eyes to make, we got to drawing.  This project had already gone 10 minutes too long, so I finished up fairly quickly.

M would have nothing to do with such marginal participation.

"What's it called?  You have to add more details.  And write some words about pumpkin pie."

So I named it and added more detail.  And wrote something about pumpkin pie.

M's masterpiece, while not a conventional monster, has a dark intensity that I like.

Mine is a little more by the book, which means, minimal creativity.  But the coloring is quite nice.

When L found out that we were having a grande old time drawing monsters with HIS book, he insisted that I go another round, this time with him.

Now any great artiste will tell you that a work of art (no matter how bad) takes a great deal of energy to create.  Fortunately, I am no great artiste, so I was game for Monster Drawing, Round 2.

So began another 15 minutes of perusing and planning for the perfect monster.  I played along, patiently.  And when I put my pen to paper, something odd happened.  It was as if my hand had developed a mind of it's own; inexplicably, it was now guided by a supernatural monster-drawing presence.  As if I was suddenly channeling the ghost of Picasso himself.  

What became an exercise in patience, turned into an exercise in fear, for this is what I scrawled.

Alright, so it's not Picasso quality, nor is it even all that scary.  But is was creepy enough to make me wonder what is going on my subconscious.

L's work of art was just that:  a work of art.