Monday, January 28, 2013

Are The Peaches Really Better in Georgia?

I'm going to Atlanta next week for work.  Instead of blogging, I should be documenting the genius insights I will be imparting unto the gathered masses, but that would be no fun.  Instead, I'm going to share my thoughts on this upcoming excursion.

  • BH is going to be on his own with our three terrors from Monday through Thursday night.  This means he is going to be stressed out about having to leave work more than an hour early every day so that he can get home with enough time to pick everyone up from after-school care.  Nothing takes the shine off a vacation, er business trip, more than knowing that my better half is going to be glaring at me when I return.
  • The thought of walking through metal detectors in my bare (or socked) feet makes me queasy.  I wouldn't normally consider myself a germaphobe, but I can't help but wonder just how nasty that portion of the ground is. There has to be some research findings published on it somewhere.  If not, someone needs to find themselves a grant and get moving.  I suspect that, next to airport bathrooms, the dirtiest place in the world might just be the ground surrounding the metal detectors at LAX.  Honestly, I obsess over that path.  I'm considering taking a throwaway pair of socks.  Or two.  You know, for the return trip.
  • My flight is at 6am, which  means the shuttle will insist they must pick me up at 3am.  That's gonna be rough.
  • I'm traveling alone, which is good.  I prefer to travel alone.
  • My coworkers and I are taking a tour of CNN when we get in.  I was inordinately excited about this excursion, mostly because BH is a CNN junkie.  When I got home to rub it in, his response wasn't exactly what I was hoping for:  

BH:  "I don't care about Altanta.  I want to go to CNN New York."

Me:  "There's no CNN New York, it's in Atlanta."

BH:  "Anderson Cooper is in New York.  That would be the good one to go to."
Me:  "What?!?  You're right.  You know you could've just let me have my moment."
BH:  "Hey, you were trying to rub it in, that's what you get."
Me:  "If you really loved me, you would've let me make you feel bad."

  • Richard Blais from Top Chef has a burger place in Atlanta.  I'm doing everything I can to get the group to take me there.  The nutella and burnt marshmallow shake sounds like something I need to try before I die.
  • I've saved the best for last.  Guess what river made world famous by a certain Alan Jackson runs through Georgia?  That's right, the CHATTAHOOCHEE!!!  Or "the hooch," as the locals call it.  I really don't know anymore about the Chattahoochee than what I've learned from listening to Mr. Jackson sing about it, but it's enough to have me weak in the knees at the thought of catching a glimpse of it.  Rumor has it, I may be disappointed, but how bad can it be with lyrics like this?
Way down yonder on the Chattahoochee
It gets hotter than a hoochie coochie
We layed rubber on the Georgia asphalt
We got a little crazy, but we never got caught

Pure poetry.

Pictures will be taken.  And maybe shared.

Monday, January 21, 2013

PSA: Move Over Sarah McLachlan

Starving children have Sally Struthers.

Abused animals have Sarah McLachlan.

Children and pets...these two segments of our society, the most adorable and deserving of protection, have, for years, been the focus of charity efforts.  And deservedly so.  They're innocent, filled with goodness, and vulnerable to the evils of this world.

But this post isn't about children or animals.  It's about a currently under-served, yet vital, productive member of our society.  These members are much loved and little protected from the abuse and risk that comes with their position.

 People, I'm talking about stuffed animals.

Stuffed animals are as adorable and as vulnerable as any puppy or baby out there, yet ZERO dollars are going towards the protection and welfare of these silent victims.

Often the perpetrators of such abuse are precisely those who we are devoting much time and resource protecting:  children and animals. 

I'd like you to meet Pinguino2.  Pinguino2 was little brother to Pinguino1 and older brother to Pinguino3.  Pinguino2 fell victim to Charley last night, after years of failed attempts on his life.  Pinguino2 and his family have lived in fear for their lives for years.  The constant abuse that he, along with his siblings, has faced is hard to even imagine.

Warning: the following images may be too graphic for young children.

This kind of fate is not uncommon for the many stuffed animals of the world.  Aggressive violence and blatant neglect at the hands of children and pets is rampant in the stuffed animal community.  

But you can help.

For as little as $5 a day, you can help build a safe, secure environment for this under-served population.  And with your donation, you will receive a photo and a personal profile of the stuffed animal you are adopting.

Meet George.  He was rescued from an abusive 18 month old.
Won't you please help the (stuffed) animals?

Monday, January 14, 2013

Children in the Workplace

I have a coworker who is a genius.  Well, technically he might not be classified as "genius", but he graduated from a top college at age 17.  And what took me 23 years to achieve in my career...well he's managed to do in 2 years.

He's 19 now.

And he's my peer.

At first, I thought, "oh great, just another slam to my already fragile I have to deal with a kid showing me that what I thought was kind of challenging work is actually something a trained chimp could do."

But he has grown on me.  And he really IS pretty bright.  So I don't feel so bad anymore.  

Sharing a cubicle wall with a 19 year old genius is exactly what I thought it would be like.

Too bad I can't share any stories with you.

Because he'll be my boss one day.

Friday, January 4, 2013

My Family Is A Zoo

I found this in P's writing spiral.  

My family is a zoo.

My father is the bear,
Big and strong,
But also loving.

My mother is the tarantula,
With her unblinking eyes that see everything.
She waits for something smaller than her to come by,
Then eats it alive.

My younger brother is the small bird in the bird exhibit,
So small and shy and always ready to fly at a moment’s notice.

My youngest brother is the hippo.
He is strong and sturdy,
He will never back down from a fight.

My dog is the sea otter.
People stop by to say, “How cute!” and “Pretty!”

I’m the lion,
Drawing everyone’s attention and admired by all.
I am the main event that everyone comes to see.

My family is a zoo.