I was going through my son’s cell phone the other day (this
only sounds invasive to those who don’t have kids), when I came across some
texts that had to be documented, for posterity’s sake. It seems a friend of his needed help wooing
the ladies, and he came to my boy for advice.
Ah, the glimpses into my son’s mind are priceless. As I followed along the string of ridiculous texts,
I was entertained by the wisdom of my 12 year old, who doled out these golden
nuggets:
“Don’t ask to hold her hand, that would make things awkward.”
"This is my motto: don't b romantic unless u hav 2"
“DO NOT HUG HER OR KISS HER UNTIL YOU HAVE GONE OUT WITH HER FOR A WHILE.”
“Think like a player.
You’ve gotta ask yourself, ‘what would P do?’”
Hugely entertained by the advice he was giving, part of me
hoped he wasn’t really serious. Knowing
what a goof-off my boy is, combined with him being one of the youngest AND
smallest kids in 7th grade, I felt pretty confident that he was
speaking about something he had no experience with. But to be sure, I had to ask him. I waited until that night, as he finished his
homework.
Me: P, how many
girls have you held hands with?
P: One
Me: And how many
girls have you kissed?
P: None. Well, one, if I count you.
Me: So what makes Kevin
want to come to YOU for advice with the ladies?
P (smile spreading across his face): I don’t KNOWWW. But I went with it, and told him all kinds of
stuff. (smiling even wider) I told him
to think like a player and that he needed to ask himself ‘what would P do’
(breaking into laughter).
We had a good laugh, while P reveled in his own
cleverness. He’s a fun kid, when he’s not driving me nuts.
Fortunately, Kevin didn't take P's advice.
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