Don't Hate the Player

I was going through my son’s cell phone the other day (this only sounds invasive to those who don’t have kids), when I came across some texts that had to be documented, for posterity’s sake.  It seems a friend of his needed help wooing the ladies, and he came to my boy for advice.  Ah, the glimpses into my son’s mind are priceless.  As I followed along the string of ridiculous texts, I was entertained by the wisdom of my 12 year old, who doled out these golden nuggets:

“Don’t ask to hold her hand, that would make things awkward.”

"This is my motto:  don't b romantic unless u hav 2"

“DO NOT HUG HER OR KISS HER UNTIL YOU HAVE GONE OUT WITH HER FOR A WHILE.”

“Think like a player.  You’ve gotta ask yourself, ‘what would P do?’”

Hugely entertained by the advice he was giving, part of me hoped he wasn’t really serious.  Knowing what a goof-off my boy is, combined with him being one of the youngest AND smallest kids in 7^th grade, I felt pretty confident that he was speaking about something he had no experience with.  But to be sure, I had to ask him.  I waited until that night, as he finished his homework. 

Me:  P, how many girls have you held hands with?

P:  One

Me:  And how many girls have you kissed?

P:  None.  Well, one, if I count you.

Me:  So what makes Kevin want to come to YOU for advice with the ladies?

P (smile spreading across his face):  I don’t KNOWWW.  But I went with it, and told him all kinds of stuff.  (smiling even wider) I told him to think like a player and that he needed to ask himself ‘what would P do’ (breaking into laughter).

We had a good laugh, while P reveled in his own cleverness.  He’s a fun kid, when he’s not driving me nuts.

Fortunately, Kevin didn't take P's advice.