Monday, April 2, 2012

My Sordid Browser History

Has this ever happened to you?

It's lunchtime and you're innocently googling your local Thai restaurant (Exotic Thai), so that you can order ahead for you and your coworkers.  You type "Exotic Thai" and, as expected, a whole slew of matches are returned.  Makes sense, after all, it's a chain.  So you click on the first link.

And up pops up porn.  Lots and lots of porn.

"Cafe" is not code for "Nookie".
Did I mention you're doing this at work, on your company-provided computer?  Immediately, realizing "Exotic Thai" obviously means more than the local restaurant chain, you quickly click the Close button on the top right corner, and even more quickly, break a light sweat.  Mortified, you discover that the Exotic Thai link you clicked had a bug that popped about 30 more cascading windows of similar nature, in a lovely (and graphic) pattern across your screen?
This hasn't happened to you before?  Strange.

How about this one.  Have you ever been innocently googling the new blog that you recently RSS'd so that you can look up a post, and you type in "dirty hooker", because, well, that's the name of the blog.  The blog's header graphic is an image of something made of yarn, so of course, it's a play on words, right?  No big deal.  Until you forget about the double entendre and click thru on the wrong "dirty hooker" link.

Again, porn.

This hasn't happened to you either?  Interesting.  Ok, one more.  This has to have happened to you.

You're reading a very funny piece by an actual comedic writer (who also happens to blog) about how she sprained her dominant boob (yes, I said dominant boob).  In your haste to read the post, you mistakenly interpret it as a reference to America's Next Top Model.  Shocked to (falsely) discover that you are behind on your ANTM lingo, you immediately google "dominant boob" only to once again pull back a whole lot of nasty.

Still no?

Sometimes I'm as dumb as a potato. 


MommaSachs said...

My mom googled Calendar Girls when the movie came out to show me the trailer.... I've never seen her blush so bad before! :)

Anonymous said...

This happened to me when looking for pictures for my V post for the A-Z Challenge. Then when I tried to get off the page ten more popped up.

Rebeccah said...

HAHAHAHAHAA! Sooo sorry, but HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA! That is totally something I would do too.

The Six-Fingered Monkey said...

You think you got it bad? Try searching for porn and having your blog show up!


Jadzia@Toddlerisms said...

Sadly, my mind has been in the gutter so long that I can pretty much think of the unfortunate search results before Google does!

I am hoping this under appreciated talent will serve me well when the boys hit their teenage years.

NumberWhisperer said...

Mommasachs, I bet that was worth being there to see. I'd totally fall for that one...Calendar Girls seems innocent enough.

Jeremy, I can think of 2 x-rated words that begin with V, and if either were the topic for your AtoZ, then I think you'll be having google hits for years to come.

Rebeccah, I'm sensing that you and I have a lot in common.

Six Fingered, Something tells me you felt kind of proud when that happened to you.

Jadzia, we should hang out, lol.