Monday, April 9, 2012

As Answered by Real Kids

Have any of you seen this email floating around?

A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class.  She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year olds, because the last one is a classic!

1.  Don't change horses
until they stop running.

2.  Strike while the
bug is close.

3.  It's always darkest before
Daylight Saving Time.

4.  Never underestimate the power of
termites.

5.  You can lead a horse to water but
how?

6.  Don't bite the hand that
looks dirty.

7.  No news is
impossible.

8.  A miss is as good as a
Mr.

9.  You can't teach an old dog new
math.

 10.  If you lie down with dogs, you'll
stink in the morning.

11.  Love all, trust
me.

12.   The pen is mightier than the
pigs.

13.  An idle mind is
the best way to relax.

14.  Where there's smoke there's
pollution.

15.  Happy the bride who
gets all the presents.

16.  A penny saved is
not much.

17.  Two's company, three's
the Musketeers

18.  Don't put off till tomorrow what
you can put on to go to bed.

19.  Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and
you have to blow your nose.

20.  There are none so blind as
Stevie Wonder.

21.  Children should be seen and not
spanked or grounded.

22.  If at first you don't succeed
get new batteries.

23.  You get out of something only what you
see in the picture on the box.

24.  When the blind lead the blind
get out of the way.

25.  A bird in the hand
is going to poop on you.

26.  Better late than
pregnant.


Those are some amazing six year olds.

Ok, seriously.  There's no way those are genuine, unprompted answers from real six year olds.  How do I know this?  Because I'm an expert in six year olds.  Also because I asked my own six year old to finish these same proverbs, and his responses were neither adorable nor clever.  Granted, he's no genius, but he's also no dolt.

The closest he got to an entertaining answer was:  Never underestimate the power of "my shoe."

Better late than pregnant?  What six year old thinks "pregnant" when they hear the world "late"?

Since I also have a 4th grader and a 7th grader to try this out on, I did just that.  The 7th grader nailed most of them.  The 4th grader was a little more interesting, but still not as good as the (35 year old posing as a) 1st grader above.  Here are some of L's more entertaining responses.

2)  Strike while the
emperor is not looking.

4)  Never underestimate the power of
the dark side.

5)  You can lead a horse to water
but not to fire.

6)  Don't bite the hand that
your mother gave you.

7)  No news is
great.

11)  Love all, trust
no one.

12)  The pen is mightier than the
pencil.

13)  An idle mind is
the most boringest thing ever.

15)  Happy is the bride who
eats mint and chip ice cream.

17)  Two's company, three's
family.

18)  Don't put off tomorrow what
your mother told you to do.

20)  There is none so blind as
a cat with cataracts.

21)  Children should be seen and not
forgotten.

26)  Better late than
early.

This little exercise turned out to be kind of fun.  For me, that is.  Once L found out I thought his answers were funny, he got a little huffy.


3 comments:

Henri B. said...

I didn't buy #26 either. Mostly because it was a Golden Girls joke. Your kids' answers were a lot funnier and a lot more authentic. 15 and 18 are my favorites.

Jadzia@Toddlerisms said...

Yeah, I do a lot of eye-rolling at the supposedly "adorably precocious" things I see on the Internet uttered by (IMHO imaginary) people's kids. Particularly those that involve political observations, but I digress.

Yours sound much more genuine--and clearly you have a Star Wars fan in the family!

Number Whisperer said...

Tny8, my favorite was the one about the cat with cataracts...he was pulling from experience, lol.

Jadzia, definitely a Star Wars fan.